Some girls (most, I'm discovering) dream about their weddings from childhood. They imagine all the details, the gown, the cake... the groom? I was not one of these girls. While other girls were drawing tuxedos and top hats on pictures of celebrities pulled out of various magazines, I was reading storybooks, building tree forts and putting worms down other kids' shirts. These activities, unfortunately, do not sufficiently prepare a girl for the MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF HER LIFE: her wedding.
Imagine my horror, after "omg I'm engaged!" wore off, to discover what's actually involved in a wedding. Dresses and flowers and aisle runners and eight thousand different pieces of stationery and unity candles (what the hell is a unity candle?) and limos and ribbons and photographers. Showers and gifts and place settings and centrepieces, guest books, favours, chair covers and place cards. And food. Everybody knows people only go to weddings for the "food" (aka: booze). And you can't just have food there, no. There has to be a cocktail hour with hors d'oeuvres and sweets and an eighteen-course plated meal followed by dessert and wedding cake and then a seafood station and finally, a midnight buffet. And all of the food that goes into those things has to be super-fancy crap that nobody wants to admit actually tastes exactly the same no matter which caterer you choose.
Then there are the extra things that you didn't know you'd "need", like toasting glasses and cake server sets (what caterer doesn't have a knife?!), bridal jewellery and those fluffy bows that get stuck on the ends of the pews. And once you think you've got all that down, there's postage on the invites and RSVP cards, gifts for everyone in your bridal party and tips for all the vendors you've already paid.
Complete and total overload. What's a reformed tomboy to do with this sudden avalanche of WEDDING? I do not have the benefit of years of daydreams and advanced planning. I did not absently flip through bridal magazines while in the checkout line at the grocery store. I do not have any experience with weddings beyond my attendance at them. I was not expecting my proposal and was therefore not adequately prepared for what came after. But I have a secret for staying on top of all these details despite my ignorance and planning an amazing wedding!
Wedding planner.
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